FRIENDSHIP LESSONS

FRIENDS YOU NEED:

1. THE MENTOR
2. THE MOTIVATOR
3. THE ROLE MODEL
4. THE REALITY CHECKER
5. THE SOUNDING BOARD
6. THE GUILT-FREE GIMIK GIRL

FRIENDS YOU DON'T NEED:

1. THE PROMISE BREAKER
2. THE DISCLOSER
3. THE DOUBLE-CROSSER
4. THE FAULT-FINDER
5. THE COMPETITOR
6. THE SELF-ABSORBED

10 STUPID THINGS COUPLES DO TO MESS UP THEIR RELATIONSHIPS

Stupid Secrets. Withholding important information for fear of rejection.

Stupid Egotism. "My freedom/ fights to do what I want are more important than your feelings/ needs." Ask not what you can do for this relationship. Ask only what this relationship can do for you.

Stupid pettiness. Making a big deal out of the small stuff.

Stupid power. Never lose an argument or sacrifice anything. Always be in control, never let the other forget he/she hurt you or messed up.

Stupid priorities. Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, chores, missions -- an unkempt bed has a higher priority than the relationship.

Stupid happiness. Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good versus to be good.

Stupid excuses. Instead of acknowledging misdeeds and being accountable and responsible, you fight back with excuses which just cause more damage -- learn to apologize.

Stupid liaisons. Staying attached to relatives and friends who are outright bad influence and destructive to yourself or your relationship. Allowing these folks to hurt your partner.

Stupid mismatch. Seeing the red flags clearly and yet you stay around trying to put a square peg in a round hole -- not knowing when to leave and cut your losses.

Stupid breakups. Disconnecting for all the wrong reasons.

11 THINGS TO REMEMBER IN A RELATIONSHIP

Relationships don't just happen, we create them.

- <3 -

Love may be dormant, but it never dies.

- <3 -

 A mate is not a solution.

- <3 -

Love is about acceptance, not change.

- <3 -

Lovers are not mind-readers.

- <3 -

It's not what you say, it's what you do.

- <3 -

Stable relationships are always changing.

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Love is always poisoned by infidelity.

- <3 -

Blame is irresponsible.

- <3 -

Giving is contagious.

- <3 -

Love doesn't punish, it forgives.

- <3 -

THE IDEAL WIFE

• SHE OUGHT TO HAVE A WARM LOVING NATURE. Most men would crave a mate who will satisfy their yearning for loving attention. She is eager to embrace him, anxious for his caresses, make him part of her physical and spiritual self. She always has a tender smile for him. She delights in sharing with him all reasonable pleasures.

• SHE HAS A GOOD HEALTH. This is one of the most desirable assets mentioned by most men. This will mean the avoidance of habits and indulgences which endanger well-being. With this is the cancelling of any frenzied attempt to keep up with too many activities.

• Then, THERE'S FREEDOM FROM POSSESSIVENESS. You see, men say that the only possessive heart tends to be selfish, jealous and fearful. Such attributes rob the marriage of joy, happiness and health.

• There is too, THE INTEREST SHE OUGHT TO HAVE IN MAKING A HOME. The house must be made a home. There must be cleanliness, order and livability in the home. Meals must be provided and they ought to be good. And friend wife  (this makes a big hit) ought to dress like the sweetest, neatest wife in the world... at breakfast too.

• This one's a negative... TOTAL ABSTINENCE FROM NAGGING. Here is something universally hated. This practice tends only to irritate husbands and might set them definitely in the opposite direction. This does not mean that the Mrs. may not express her opinion. But once that is done, never go back and rehash it.

• Next is a set of twins... KINDNESS AND UNDERSTANDING. You'll find that nearly every man dreams of the girl with whom he does not feel obligated to explain every little fault, or misdemeanor. She just understands naturally. She trusts him completely. She is safe in that too, for he would lose his right arm before he'd deceive her. Kindness does not necessarily consist of slavish labor or lavish gifts. Rather, it's the ability to know that at the end of the day the atmosphere of the home ought to be charged with peace and love.

• MOST MEN SPOKE OF PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS, BUT NEVER WITH UNDUE EMPHASIS. No matter how little nature has bestowed there's no woman who cannot enhance her attractiveness. Men want to be justly proud of the wife they've chosen.

• No matter what people say, MEN ARE IDEALISTIC. Each of them can imagine the girl whom he considers the complete woman for his particular form of life.

• Some men have suggested in one way or another the WIFE'S ABILITY TO FEED THE HUSBAND'S EGO. I suppose it's because every man needs to feel that he is somebody. Often he is made to feel inferior in his business or profession. Secretly he hopes that his dear one will look upon him as a strong, able, nice-looking husband. He eats up praise which is skilfully given and literally hates to be belittled.

• This is an important one. Nearly every man questioned is LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO WILL BE A GOOD MANAGER. For happiness' sake, it's wise to exhibit every consideration for the family purse. You may have your own ideas and they may be good. But to err on the side of conservatism is sure fire for success. And in the matter of keeping books and budgets you'll find that most husbands live in this realm. They're delighted to see you interested here too.

• FAITHFULNESS AND SPIRITUAL STRENGTH ARE IMPORTANT. Every man yearns deeply for the woman whose moral standards are high. This is part of his code for wives. Some argue that men fail here, and sadly enough, it is true. But this is in no way invalidates the hunger on his part that his dear one be clean, pure, noble.

• AS FOR SPIRITUAL STRENGTH, IT IS NO SECRET THAT MEN DESPERATELY SEEK FOR THIS. They want to take hold on a power that is higher and will lift them. They want their mates to know how to reach up and take hold of God.They want their children to be taught in the ways of righteousness.

P.S. These needs in men are GOD-IMPLANTED. Perhaps, God also planned that your husband should find his fulfillment in you.

A LETTER TO THE ONE GOD HAS PREPARED FOR ME

A high school friend of mine gave me a copy of this letter which she got from the internet back in the year 2000. I was touched upon reading it and so I kept it. Read on and be touched.

          "I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me, if like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you. I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions.

          Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known "love". I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person...and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is!

          You just don't know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways! I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. 

          I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me --- the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all that pain and sacrifice. After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect --- for YOU! I wonder if you've gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you've been hurt so many times along the journey. But my dearest one, please don't ever give up because I am right here... patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.

          At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love.

          And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are worth the wait.

          And when that time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life --- and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!!!

          In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don't even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don't worry, don't be afraid about getting lost, God saw to it that all the roads, no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me." <3<3<3